Max Is 6 Weeks Old Today!

Max has finally reached 6 weeks of age!  To me, getting here has been such a long journey, and yes, we are just at the beginning and I feel nearly out of gas.  Sometimes I doubt if I can continue any further.  All the worrying about breastfeeding and the lack of sleep has created insecurities that occasionally turn my very tiny world upside down.  All I can do is keep telling myself that I will get through another day, then another, and another… till all the issues I am facing fade away and I become stronger.

So far, Max’s night time feedings are 10PM, 1:30AM, 5AM, 8:30AM.  That doesn’t mean he sleeps in-between his feedings.  Sometimes it is impossible to put him back down to bed after each feeding.  He would cry non-stop unless he’s being held.  So some nights we stay up and hold him for hours.  No wonder I dread the coming of night time.  I talked to as many other moms as I can and they all say that their new born slept through the night at 2-3 months of age.  So I am half way there.  I truly hope that there is a silver lining on the other side.

So here’s a video of Max crying.  Usually he would begin the day as wonderful as an angel.  Towards the end of the day, he begins to cry and cry.  I would try all the tricks I know and a lot of times he wouldn’t stop crying.  It is moments like these that I wished time would go by faster.




Ravi’s White Clover

Ravi has been going to his new day care for little over two months now, and we are loving it ever since the first day.  We are impressed with the quality and experience of teachers, amount of activities and exposures he had to new things, and most of all, Ravi comes home happy everyday and learned something new and exciting.

One of the activities they do in his class is planting seeds.  Ravi brought home a small cup of white clovers in honor of St. Patrick’s day.  It was his first gardening project.   I wasn’t sure I liked them, but I kept it near the window in the kitchen and remembered to water it every once a while.


Ravi's first gardening project, white clovers from St. Patrick's Day.

One day I noticed that my mom was staring at this plant and immersed in deep thoughts, so I asked her what she was thinking.  She said: “I worked so hard to pull all those out of control crab grasses and clovers out of your yard, and here you are watering and growing some in your home… why do you even keep it here?”  Right on the nail!  This is probably why I didn’t like this plant from the beginning but I just couldn’t put my fingers on it.  I hated pulling those clovers off of the front lawn too.  Here I am, being a hypocrite.  Condemning some and encourage the same elsewhere.

I remember throwing the clovers into the trash but decided to pick it back up again.  Today, it is still enjoying sunshine by my kitchen window and gets watered occasionally.  Though I now look upon it without much fondness, just obligation to keep it alive for Ravi’s sake.



Simple meal and simple wishes

Last Saturday while my parents went home and left all of us to ourselves, I made dinner for Mario.  It was a simple meal and the first since Max was born.  It was also the first time I ever tried the recipe, so I was really glad that Mario liked it.


Filet of Tilapia and bow tie pasta with pesto sauce


Since Mario keeps a very busy schedule, I only see him at dinner half of the time.  So I sat by him and watched and listened while he ate his meal.  He enjoyed his dinner very much and was in really good spirit.  At the end, he said: all I wish is for you to make more meals like this more often.  I said: all I wish is for you to get done with your school so I can make meals for you like this every night.  I can make all your favorite foods and deserts.  Heck, I can even make you favorite your cookies and creme brulee!  All I want is for us to spend happy times together again everyday and watch our children grow.  All I want is to be with you all the time.



Max’s on His 1 Month Birthday

I know this post is so not about about me, but I can’t believe I made it for a whole month!  Max is now one month old!  Only 17 years and 11 months to go before freedom for mommy!  Here is a video I’ve taken on his birthday.  When compared to his 6th day video, he has grown so much.


Also, here’s a picture I’ve taken on the same day.  He has just taken a bath the day before and all his hair stood up. I love his rocker look!  Dear Maxie, mommy hopes you can sleep like this all night too.


Max sleeping peacefully on his one month old birthday.


Max, You Are 1 Month Old Today!

My dear precious Max,

You are 1 month old today!  This last month since you were born seemed so long, probably because mommy worried so much about you and suffered from lack of sleep each and every day.  Nevertheless, mommy is so excited for this first milestone and hope you will be growing bigger and stronger soon.

You have the most beautiful eyes.  You were awake from the moment you were born and you stared at me with your big, deep, dark eyes, and mommy instantly connected with your.  You must have gotten those soulful eyes from your daddy.  I have always been very jealous of his eyes and wished mine had a fraction of the luster and character, so I am very thankful that he has passed them on to you.  As days pass by, your lashes have grown longer too.  I am sure it will be as full and long as your daddy and brother’s.

You began to transition from 2 hour per feeding to 2.5 hour per feeding in the last week or so, and two days ago you even went without food for 3 hours for the first time!  I know it is a small change, but mommy has hope that you will soon be able to regularly last 3 hours between feedings.  Even though you could only sleep short stretches at a time (thus sleeplessness for mommy), but it is the incremental improvement that gives mommy hope and get through each day.

You got infant acne on your 20th days!  Since then, I’ve found more on your face and forehead.  I missed your beautiful smooth skin so much.  In the meantime, I wash your face carefully everyday and hope it will clear up very soon.

You cry fiercely right before bed time every night.  You cry very hard around 9PM to 10PM every night, right around the time I put your brother Ravi to bed.  I helplessly lay awake in Ravi’s bed and hear your cry, unable to come to your rescue.  We don’t know why you cry so much specifically at this time.  We made sure you diaper was clean and you were fed, and you were being carried and rocked the whole time.  But you keep crying till it is well passed 10PM each night.

You are a quiet observer.  In the last month, you have given me a peek into your emerging personalty.  Unlike your brother and me, you appeared to be a deep thinker and observer.  Sometimes when you are awake, you are content with quietly staring out to every direction with your big deep eyes and curious about everything.  You look so focused with your eyes, and for a short while you would be so deeply absorbed into whatever you are looking at and thinking of.  This period of concentration is only terminated when you wanted our attention again.

When mommy holds you in her arms, that feeling of love and joy surpassed all that mommy had imagined when you were not yet born.  Sometimes just staring at you while you are sleeping brings all the happiness back to her tired body again.  What magic!  How incredible it is to feel so much pleasure from such a little person.







Max’s 3 Week Check UP

On Wednesday May 11th, Mario and I took Max to his 3 weeks check up.  Max was three weeks and two days old on this day.

Everything went exceptionally well.  There wasn’t too much crying on our drive there and we only waited about 10 minutes to see Max’s pediatrician.  Better yet, there was no shots at 3 week, so we didn’t have to hear non-stop crying on the way home.

Max weighted 8 lbs and 10.5 oz, ranked 31 percentile in his age group.  Compared to his birth weight of 7 lbs and 1 oz, it is a significant weight gain.  According to the doctor, infants generally loose weight during the first few days of their lives, then gain about half a pound per week.  Max weighted nearly his birth weight by 1 week of age and gained more than 1.5 lbs in the following 2 weeks!

Max measured 22.24 inches, ranked 83 percentile in his age group.  Compared to his birth height of 19 inches, there was a significant increase of 3 inches.  As we were discussing this large increase with his pediatrician, we were doubtful that his birth height measurement was accurate.  Since it was impossible to go back and measure again, we will just have to consider discarding that data point.  We will have to pay special attention to his 2 months height (next check up) to get a better picture of his growth.

Other than weight and height, Max passed all other tests his pediatrician performed on him.  Overall, the conclusion is he is a health little boy.  I can’t wait for the next check up to see where he will be.


Infant Acne

Twenty days after his birth, I found infant acne on Max’s precious little face.  And no, I am not surprised.  Ravi had an entire face full of these acne at this age too and I know that it will go away in a few weeks.  Unfortunately, Max will not be able to look his best at picture times for a while.


Max with Infant Acne

Max with Infant Acne, zoom.


Mother’s Day Presents

I am not much for mother’s day or most of Hallmark holidays.  In fact, I almost forgot about it until my sister asked me what we should get for our mom.  Since Max was born, things like mother’s day fall so low on my priority list that it almost didn’t register on my mind.  So I was surprised that Mario wanted to celebrate this year.  Of course I had no clue what I wanted and all I wanted to do was just to survive another day.  That’s what an infant can do to a person, no matter how many times around it is.

Even though I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, I was pleasantly surprise by some of the things I did receive.  Ravi brought home a gigantic hand made card and a pot of mystery plants for me from his day care.  It was so unexpected and caught me completely in surprise.  That is to say, I really enjoyed it.  Though there wasn’t a single second that I believed Ravi had made this all on his own.  I am going to guess 95% plus of the effort came from his teachers.  Nevertheless, I am glad their teachers went through all the trouble to make these wonderful presents for all the mommies.


A hand made card from Ravi, front.

A hand made card from Ravi, inside.

When I first saw the blob of something wrapped in ribbons and tissue papers, I wasn’t sure what it was.  Once I opened it up, I found some unrecognizable plants sprouting out of a small cup.   My mom was so impressed that she planted these into a bigger pot in order to find out what they will become.  I guess we will find out soon.


Mystery present, unopened.

Mystery present, unwrapped.

As for Mario, he gave up studying the whole day and spent it with us.  He even took Ravi to the park all by himself.  That was the best present ever!  I worried that he would have to pay the price later, but just for one day we were one happy family together.  It was a rare day and I so enjoyed this year’s mother’s day.



Ravi, You Are 26 Months Old Today!

Dear Ravi,

You turned 26 months old today.  When I look at you, I am amazed as how big you are.  I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how fast you are growing.  Each month you look different and I don’t want to miss a single moment of it.

The biggest change for you this month is that you’ve become an older brother to baby Max.  You have shown tremendous interest in your baby brother.  You wanted to try out his little bassinet and pacifiers, you liked to pet him, you even kissed him.  But you have become more emotional since his arrival.  For instance, you would cry non-stop in the middle of the night if you woke up and saw me feeding Max.  I believe you are having a hard time adjusting not being so close to me, and deep down you are afraid that I don’t love you anymore.  For that, I am really sorry.  I love you so much!  I wanted a little brother for you so that someday you would have someone to love and love you back when your daddy and I are no longer here.  I didn’t want you to be unhappy.  I hope all your insecurities are only temporary.

The positive side of Max arrival is that your grandpa (A-Pa) and grandma (Ma) have moved in temporarily to help take care of you.  You love your grandpa so much and all you wanted to do when you get home is being held by him.  I am so very glad that you and your grandpa have such a loving relationship, just like the way I did with mine.

You have been to your new day care for over six weeks now.  Even though you still cry when we drop you off, you are much more confident and most of time you would stop crying even before we leave the gate.  When we come to pick you up at the end of the day, we some times find you playing by yourself.  I was worried you are having a hard time making friends, but your teachers tell me that it is normal for two year olds to be loners since they cannot efficiently communicate with other kids, and they are likely to play with other children once they get closer to three years of age.  So far the new day care is working out very well for you.  You brought home all kinds of craft projects and plants, including a pot of three sun flower plants few days ago.  I also get daily report of what activities you’ve done.

Ravi, mommy love you so much!  I know right now you feel uncertain, but mommy promise everything will be okay.  Very soon you will have someone to play with and all of us as a family will be closer and happier than every before.




Ravi Sticks to Daddy Like Glue

One thing I dreaded the most about the arrival of Max was how Ravi was going to react to it.  For the first two years of Ravi’s life, he’s been the center of my universe.  My life literally revolved around him.  I slept in his bed, I held him when he cried, I dressed and fed him…  But I knew that once Max arrives, I would have to shift my attention to the little one, then suddenly Ravi would find himself no longer number one in my life.  I dared not to imagine how we both would be able to live with that.

When Max arrived, I felt all my fears came true.  When daddy brought Ravi to see me while I was waiting to give birth to Max, he was scared and wanted to leave without giving me a hug.  When he got home, he cried long and hard at nights when his daddy or grandpa slept with him.  Sometimes he would cry uncontrollably during the day when his requests were rejected.  When I got home, I loosened all my rules to accommodate his fragile sensitivity.  I let him eat candies, drink juices… all the things that I swore I would never do.  Still, he cried much more than he ever did.  My limitation of not able to lift anything heavier than 15 lbs due to my C-section did not help the situation, since I now am not able to carry him like I used to, which is probably the biggest rejection to Ravi.

I was really glad that Mario was able to step up and take on the role of Ravi’s main care giver during the past few weeks.  I know it is extremely hard for him between school and work, but he has done a beautiful job.  I think when Ravi is with him, he felt more secured.  There were moments I just watch them be with each other and it warms my heart.  Here are some shots that I was lucky enough to capture.

I am so looking forward to be able to hold Ravi again and I hope that day will come soon.